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Hi.

Welcome to my blog. I talk about body positivity, style, inspiration, social justice, and whatever the hell else is on my mind.

Who You Callin' a Fat Bitch?

Last week on my Facebook page  I asked the question, "How do you feel about the word fat? or bitch? or for that matter, fat bitch? Does it offend you or empower you? Or neither?"  The responses were very interesting and I thought it was worth exploring a bit more. 


I recently changed the name of my blog from Curvy Sexy Chic to Chronicles of a Mixed Fat Chick (though I also considered Mixed Fat Bitch).  I had and still have mixed feelings about the words "fat" and "bitch" or the idea of using them both to describe me.   Historically, the word "fat" has been used used to marginalize people of size and make them feel less than human. But as you know, people like Jes Baker (The Militant Baker) and Rachele (The Nearsighted Owl), and many other bloggers are taking back the word "fat" and giving it new meaning. Does it still mean someone who has extra adipose tissue? YES!  Some say that by calling ourselves fat and really dissecting the meaning and the context of the word, we can begin to see it simply as a descriptor, neither good nor bad. In some cases, it's actually a good thing!  




As for the word "bitch," the responses were mixed.  Some thought it was OK if used playfully, while others found it offensive altogether.  Admittedly, I use the word rather a lot, and use it to describe everything from people (male and female) to situations to inanimate objects--sometimes playfully and at other times in anger.

Now I want to share some of the responses from the Facebook survey.  Not all the women who posted responses were fat, by the way.  


  • I definitely wouldn't consider it a term of endearment...
  • I have come to love the word fat and my fatness in and of itself. In its definitive essence fat is merely a descriptor, just like being tall or having brown hair. It's only a pejorative term because of years of re-appropriation and misuse.
  • Personally, I don't know a woman at any size that has truly managed to stop thinking about herself as fat, so I've tried to accept that my body is a certain shape, that some will find it beautiful, and some disgusting, and I can't control that.
  •  I wouldn't call myself that. When/if I've said it about myself have been in moments if self-hatred. Or like poking fun first before anyone else can. But I don't think I've ever said fat bitch. Ill say "my fat ass knows I don't need that slice of pie" hmmm pie. Also just so we clear I WILL always have that slice of pie...
  •  I love to walk into a store and ask where the fat section is LOL, I also call myself fat girl, it throws people off and they back peddle - normally I end up with the "Oh you aren't fat" and I counter with "You are sweet but I do look in the mirror every day and you know what? I own this!" As for the Bitch part... well everyone just knows that I own that word as well. I use those words and own them because I am not going to let myself be brought down because of the words that come out of someone else's mouth
  • I think that both words are hurtful and playful depending on how they are used and by whom. And I think that is wrong. I think fat should be just a descriptive word but in my reality it is not. I call myself fat and it does not make me feel bad about myself but if someone else says it to me (especially a thinner someone) it is hurtful. That may be wrong but that is how it is for me. Bitch on the other hand is constantly changing for me. In my youth, bitch was just another word. We threw it around like it was nothing. These days it is dependent on who says it and how, again. I do describe myself as a bitch at times (although more often now I say I am an asshole). Its the one word equivalent of saying I'm going to respect myself and stand up for myself and not take your shit. And usually it works out that way. But I don't much care for someone calling me a bitch in anger (such as 'you fat bitch'). I know it is a double standard. I know. 



ALL BODIES ARE GOOD BODIES

I'm so encouraged that there was such a big response (pun intended) to these questions. Opening up a dialogue and sharing ideas is important.  I'm still not sure how I feel about the whole thing, really.  In truth it's a daily struggle to accept myself as I am.  I think many women feel this way.  I want things to change so that the next generation of young girls can avoid the hideous ridicule and infliction of twisted beauty standards the media has thrust upon us.  I will continue to be honest and share my thoughts with you and ask the important questions.  

Women are powerful and we can create lasting change, but we must be committed.  I would love to hear from you about what you're doing to create change!

Ciao for Niao,

Pia


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